Learning To Play Again At Sixty ~ By James Shields

We had been in a committed D/s relationship for more thirty years when my wife died. In the months that followed her death, I found that I was not ready to sit and watch the grandchildren play while I became part of the furniture.

Because of a series of health problems, ranging from my heart attack and quintuple by pass to the series of small strokes that took parts of her mind away, we had not played in five years. I was not sure that I could still take a spanking, strapping or caning -- but my mind would not leave these subjects alone. Where would an old man of sixty find a Domme that would be at all interested in playing with him? What possible appeal could I have at my age?

I began to search the Internet, I knew that there were sites about what I was looking for and I found many of them. I had lived and worked in Seattle and had just retired after thirty one years on the job and moved about fifty miles north. I found a BDSM group on the web, the Triskeli Guild, http://www.memes.com/~iniquity/triskeli/home.html , located in Bellingham. That is another fifty miles farther north. The web page had an open invitation for people to come to the group meetings that were held twice a month. In March I went to a meeting. Thepeople were friendly and interested in me and I was welcomed into the group.

In mid May I attended a play party put on by the group. I just watched and was again presented with the problem of who would be willing to play with me, and could I even do those things anymore. I did hear of a Domme that was unable to attend the party because of a back injury. I did not learn very much about her, but the name stuck in my mind.

In the meantime, I had located a source for unfinished rattan canes and had ordered some. I had always loved the canes and decided that I could at least become a craftsman and be around the scene selling a few canes. A few weeks after the first party, I met the Domme that I had heard of at a group meeting and showed her some of my canes that were partially finished.  She took a cane that I handed her and she seemed to transform as if by magic. Her face lit up and she moved the cane in a way that told me that she liked it a lot. I managed to find out that her colors were green and black before she left. I was very taken with her and  commented to someone there that I needed to get to know that lady.  So I made a cane for her with a green and black leather wrap on the handle end and took it with me to every meeting I attended.

On July 28 she was at another meeting. She approached me this time. We exchanged ICQ numbers and then she was leaving again. I managed to find the nerve to stop her long enough to gift her with the cane that I had made and she asked me to contact her on ICQ as soon as I got home. I felt like a high schooler who was about to get
his dream date for the prom. But could this lady in her thirties really be interested in me? What could she see in an old man like me?

We chatted that Tuesday on ICQ, late into the night. We found much common ground. On Wednesday evening I asked her if she would consider doing a scene with me at the upcoming party on August 8th. She said she was interested, but would rather play privately first and could I come to her house on Friday to play?!! .. Yes.. Yes, I would be there ! ! !

Friday finally arrived and I was so nervous. In fact, I was down right scared. I was not sure what I could do .. it had been so long since I had done this, and the Lady was so young, a year younger than my oldest son and much younger than my stepdaughter. I had visions of ending up as a pile of trembling flesh on her floor, unable to do anything. 

When I arrived at her house at one o'clock, it was all I could do to get myself through the door. She gave me a hug and we sat down to talk. There was a connection between us again in person like there was on ICQ, as though we were not really strangers. I felt as though we somehow had known each other in another time and space. And so we played ..for several hours. I flew. I had not done that in so long and I thought it would never happen again, that it was just an old memory, always to be left in the past.

On that Friday, July 31st my life changed. I flew again, I was alive and it was just as good as it had ever been. And this Lady cared about me. I was not looking for a relationship, just a chance to play again. But She stole my heart and allowed me to escort Her to the play party and she became My Lady and we agreed that i would be collared to Her, but not in an exclusive relationship for either of us.

In mid August I went to see a health provider to follow up on my hip replacement. She took one look at me and said, "I don't know what you are doing now that you were not doing six months age, but keep doing it. It becomes you."  Other people remarked on the changes in me, even online friends that only saw my words said that I was changed for the better, that I had a fresh outlook on things.

Our relationship has grown over these three months, and we have signed a contract. She is now Mistress and i love her deeply and She returns my love. i do not see us in a permanent living together situation. i am twenty plus years older, and She has an eleven year old son at home. But i am going to savor every moment that i can have with Her and honor Her in every way that i can.

My age is a factor in some of the things we do. We take care not to stress my hip where i had replacement surgery, and are very aware of my heart when we do electric play. But then, every couple that plays together has limits and references. We do play very well together.

She had never used a cane until i gave her one. Now she has a dozen canes and rods that i have made for her and she is very good with them. i often fly at the command of Her cane and i love it every time .. they are wonderful trips. I am convinced that our souls are old friends and that we will forever be connected in some way. I have not forgotten the lady that i spent a lifetime with. As long as my mind is whole, she will always be in my memory and my
heart, but my time of mourning is over and I am going on with my life.

My message here is that age does not mean that you must retire from the life as you would from a job. If you are sincere and honest and set out to court a Domme, your age is not a handicap. What is important is your skill as a submissive, your ability to make yourself  appealing to that Lady. Many times, honest adoration can win the heart of a lady, even a Domme Lady.

As an older submissive, i now feel that the fruit of my years of submission is very much like an old bottle of wine. It has been nurtured and cared for very carefully over the years and now it is a fine, mellow gift that i can present to a Domme who is willing to dust the bottle off a little, shine the glass and treat the cork with respect. Mistress has done those things and i am grateful, and shinny.

james

Learning to Play Again at Sixty courtesy of J. Shields. 
Copyright 1998. All rights reserved.   
Contact: jimmrs@hotmail.com